Splash House 2016 Diary
Words by Ben Fingeret & Joe Rome
Lets start by getting one very important issue out of the way here: DJ sets by a pool are quite possibly one of the best ideas anyone has ever had. This year, my very best friend Joe and myself were invited to attend and cover Splash House in Palm Springs for Kick Kick Snare - an invitation which, might I add, was accepted in .005 seconds. Sure, it’s in the desert, but everything just seems that much nicer when you’re poolside and don’t have to worry about the following list of festival grievances: dust storms, horrible cell reception, 3000 people all waiting in line to use a porta–potty, everything related to camping in a field with thousands of strangers, rain, mud, people who take festival fashion a little too seriously, etc.
2016 marks our third year attending, which was by far our favorite. Spread out between the Saguaro and Riviera Hotels (with a free shuttle service running between them – honestly you can’t beat that!), Splash House is the ultimate party for anyone who likes DJ sets, pools, sunshine, cold drinks, friendly people, and pool floats. If you were lucky enough to attend this year, welcome back; and if you weren’t able to attend – you’re probably better hydrated and less sunburned than we are (for starters) but have no fear because we documented our three days at Splash House.
Friday 2:30 PM: Our saga begins. Joe is at home stressing out about being late (per usual) to an event that doesn’t start until 10:00 pm. He nervously begins to drink directly from a bottle of Kim Crawford while simultaneously firing off 15 rapid-fire “WHERE ARE YOU?!" texts to Ben, who doesn’t respond probably because he’s too busy fixing his hair or instagramming a picture of Gigi Hadid. Without warning (or even knocking) Ben bursts through the door & sprints to the bathroom. Within a matter of minutes, we have somehow crammed 3 people, 3 suitcases and 49 inflatables of varying size into the car; and we’re off!
Friday 3:30 PM: It’s been an hour and we haven’t even hit the 101. Status Update: Joe = riddled with anxiety. Ben = hangry and complaining that we need a private jet. We decide that due to the way traffic is shaping up we may not even make it to Splash House 2017, it would only be right to have our own mini-festival in the car. Special shout out to Gorgon City for keeping us from murdering each other.
Friday 5:30 PM: It took us 4 years (approximately) to get out of LA, and there is truly no better feeling than seeing those all too familiar windmills that signal your arrival in Palm Springs. Our other friend has to pee – we are literally 20 minutes away according to Waze but he obviously can’t hold it for that long. This is around the time that Joe started twitching while the vein in his forehead started to bulge.
Friday 6:00 PM: We’ve picked up our wristbands, checked into the Parker, and immediately hit up our favorite lemonade stand. We out here and the weekend has officially begun! Lemonade wasn’t enough for Ben so he challenges our impossibly small-bladdered friend to a beer chugging contest. If chugging drinks was an Olympic Sport, Ben would have several gold medals – total domination. The bartenders are terrified.
Friday 9:30 PM: We meet up with some of our other friends and get ready to head to the first event of the weekend, RÜFÜS DU SOL at the Air Museum. It is lethally hot out and both of us are drenched in sweat within minutes of our arrival.
Friday 11:30 PM: RÜFÜS DU SOL is AMAZING – but who doesn’t love a sexy Australian band in the desert?! Everyone’s singing along, getting down, sweating on each other. We’d say Night one was a success.
Saturday 1:30 AM: Back in our room and Joe is ON ONE. Tensions are once again running high because everyone wants to sleep and Joe would rather listen to some Tove Lo song on repeat for 4 hours. Very reminiscent of the fight between Bethenny and Kelly on The Real Housewives of New York “GO TO SLEEP!!!!!”
Saturday 7 AM: Ben woke up to Joe and our girlfriend Laura competing to see who could snore the loudest. He doesn’t believe in pictures before at least 8 am, but suffice it to say this picture of Sophia Loren in our bathroom sums up how he looked.
Saturday 11:00 AM: We head over to the Saguaro to sneak a picture of the calm before the storm. We’re not entirely sure, but we think this is the only photographic evidence from the entire weekend when there wasn’t anyone in a pool.
Saturday 3:00 PM: Pool hop over to the Riviera to catch Melvv’s set. In non-surprising news it is once again DANGEROUSLY HOT.
Saturday 5:00 PM: We pop back over to the Saguaro for Viceroy, where while we were looking for an inch of shade, noticed that people are going ALL OUT decorating their balconies. It was quite impressive, and also worth noting that there seemed to be two predominant themes – Political and Pokemon Go . Creativity at it’s finest.
Saturday 7:15 PM: Joe thought that his inflatable cow was the ~*~coolest~*~ one in the crowd. He was clutching it and dancing with it and was fully intending on bringing it to the after party until some random girl walked over and licked it’s udders and stole it from us. It was too hot to chase after her (or for any form of confrontation, really) so we gave it up. MK got down and dirty as the sun was finally setting.
Saturday 11:30 PM: We’re back at the Air Museum for the Day 2 after party featuring Claptone. We’re not trying to be dramatic but it was a literal sauna on the tarmac. Like a convection oven and a sauna. Claptone was fabulous as expected, and then a group of shirtless bros started moshing and we were scared for our lives. Scared for them because of heat stroke, scared for us because we got heat stroke just looking at them.
Sunday 9:00 AM: Pro tip: wake up early at the Parker to get in a quick disco nap on the hammocks before heading back to the final day of Splash House. Clutch Move.
Sunday 2:00 PM: Things are rowdy and sweaty as ever at the Saguaro. We finally take advantage of the (shaded!) press area behind the stage and catch a little of Jean Toniques set.
Sunday 5:00 PM: We head back into the pool and realize people are starting to take part in what looks like an Olympic diving competition…except this isn’t Rio and these people look nothing like Tom Daley.
Sunday 5:30 PM: Joe ventures back into the pool and made friends with a guy who had lost his sunglasses. Joe miraculously finds them somehow (?!) as well as a woman’s purse.
Sunday 5:45 PM: Ran into some friends between Marcus Marr & Lost Kings’ sets.
Sunday 6:30 PM: Elevated for SNBRN. Also, generally never not into an Instagram moment.
Sunday 10:00 PM: The best part of any Southern California music festival? Stopping for In N Out on the way home.
Thank you for having us, Splash House! In you missed them, catch our Splash House Q&As here!